for loss of words ...

haven't posted for what seems to be a long time -
in reality only two days - been caught in my head
again - it feels like low tide or re-entry from what was a productive, now waning summer ...
on days like these i tend to see more and spend
more time looking, listening, and being than thinking and planning. at this point i think its probably better for my health and well being ...
for some reason, feeling vulnerable sums it up ...
...'way to go atlas'.

fruits of wrath ...

war, suspicion, coversion, anger, mistrust, fear, futility, sadness, depression, opposition, exclusion, pain, suffering, oppression, insanity, destructive, hatred, self righteous indignation, ego, stupidity, inhumanity, demoralizing, disdain, discouraging, dis, fanatical, tyrannical, justifiable, souless, greed, power, lust, lies, killing, dehumanizing, torture, cowardliness, extremism, horror, insolence, sinful, evil, vengeance, vicious, vile, qualmish, insurgent, insurrection, destabilizing, sadness, ...

just walk ...

strange how thoughts come and go - i read something this morning during my usual morning meditation that jumped off the page - "balance and poise amid change..." - also, over the past couple of days, whether reading something on art, physics, movie reviews, or geopolitical concerns - the idea of losing 'self' keeps popping. then, for whatever reason, i remembered an incident in vivid detail that occured when i was about ten years old; i went fishing with my father one early spring evening after a heavy april rain storm - the creek was wild and the wind was fierce - a large fallen tree stretched across the stream which my father sure-footedly navigated with ease - as i followed, i began to lose my 'balance and poise' about halfway over - seeing my discomfort my dad simply directed me to "don't think about 'it' - just walk" - needless to say, i ended up in the creek. all my dad said was "i doubt that'll happen again". i haven't thought about that in forty years - why now? why not every day?

safety in numbers ...

enjoyed the weather of labor day - decided to treat myself to the september issue of 'art in america' - a magazine that generally gives one the pulse of what's going on in painting and sculpture - the expectation itself sets me up for failure - seduced by the image of stingel's installation at the whitney on the cover and a few of the thumb-throughs i began examining it in more detail. it became laborious. what ever happened to the momentum from the league of giants that preceded us only a generation or two ago - either i am or i'm getting too cynical, too old, too discriminating, too impatient or everything really is looking like a bad copy of pretty much everything i've seen before. granted, there are still a (watch) pocket full of some pretty amazing artists that produce some good stuff (when they get out of the way of their own mythology - ie., the fast track hype,image, and/or self deception), but for the most part i'm not seeing much more than student level work (and i'm not putting down the plato version of student). so i guess 'a in a' is still living up to its reputation of being on the pulse - its just not doing my blood pressure any good!
the day ended with the news carrying another bush employee pep rally in iraq. when is he going to stop preaching to the converted and start explaining the logic behind " a safer iraq means a safer america". how many people could have eaten hot dogs and had a day off with the amount of money it cost to fly airforce one to bhagdad and back?

sporadic colonies ...

alien spores -

flying dorito -
solar south pole -
eye of a needle -
silk circles -
coral candy -
fluid schools -
tidal dance -
static leaks -
sponge bells -
palm braids -
amethyst pools -
trumpet fiber -
azurite scrim -
hydrangea bred -
compost cascade -
bubbling souls -
tasty textures -
fertile seductions -
macadam transparency -
polymer panes -
time drains -
erupting life -
filament whisper -
curdling skies -
lucid density -
parallax wind -

devilish details ...

as it turns out with my paintings, a major portion of what was painted (as shown in these details) seldom makes it to the final edit. as many as fifty paintings exist on the surface during its morphology with only potions of each surviving in the end. i've been exploring this method since 1974. material advances over the past decade has allowed me to pursue the process in more depth. lately i've come across a few new developments that will be appearing in the next round of pieces. very darwinian in nature and definitely appropriate in terms of representing our culture.

mapping memory ...

i've been assessing and assembling 'works on paper' from the past few decades in an effort to show some lineage of thought or mind maps of painterly endeavors. the most provocative seem to address the idea of simultaneous thoughts and images through 'veils of time'. this one, entitled: "make political what you can't control" was begun in venice, ca in 1988 and went through a few dozen transformations until 2006 when i finished it here in pa. it started (and ended) with the idea of dante's rings of hell, the notion of hell - and later evolved to include the sounds of solar winds, water memory and camus. "earth song" (a musical composition), - and one of the last pieces i recorded with erik cartwright - accompanies this series of works.

two of jung's four ...

categories - vanishing views - comfort below 60 - physical pain - endurance - a life of advocacy - pledges - promises - tolerance - defiance - character - right - rights - entropy - absolute zero - political tools - words - webs - dendrites - tentacles - fear - uncertainty - responsibility ...
1986©, 2006©, 2026, 2046, 2066, 2086, 2106 ...

navigating hope ...

a new month - and another batch of 'infinite possibilities' to choose from - the academic holiday is over - i'm excited to see what will manifest - my 'to do' list keeps growing and these days are becoming noticeably shorter - time to begin to acclimate to the changes - time to package the 'fruits'. in talking to james carroll yesterday i realize that i have a sufficient amount of new paintings for a couple of one- person exhibitions, around 100 new musical compositions, a few performances choreographed, 3 books in the process, and plenty to say about 'the state of the arts'. all i need now is the willingness to go public again. the bush administration, the war machine, the conservative 'right', and a sense that the majority of america's population has a wanting proclivity toward the banality of 'pop' culture and instant gratification has left me with a "what's the point?" attitude (futility). sometimes i think that the most difficult thing about being an artist is not the effort expended in navigating concepts, production, marketing, finance, or notoriety but the ability to remain hopeful and optimistic - to believe in the future and to have faith ...
the color of the blue-grey sky peaking through the old walnut trees this morning (along with my mood) reminds me of a great schnabel painting i saw years ago called "circum-navigating through a sea of sh-t". as i stood in front of it at the boone gallery (on w. broadway at that time) a small shard of pottery (part of the 'sea') fell to the floor. i've carried it with me for more than twenty years. [ still sorry about the early morning coffee visit julian ].
noodling near 'fission' - another 7' x 9' painting from this summer.