too ..,

no. 9, ink on paper . © 2007 .

too much data, to consolidate, to develop ‘one’ today ...

yeah, it’s about improvisation, free form, abstraction, expressionism, inclusion, reductionism, lyricism, nature, alchemy, editing, materials, techniques, outsider, palimpsest, morphology, philosophy, spirituality, art histories, music, poetry, dance, literature, politics, sociology, science, and any number of additional things in the course of the day ...

a song, a symphony, a composition, a dream, a prayer, a news clip, birds chirping, wind, light, temperature, words filtering through, structures, color, pain, and all the things they conjure up in terms of memories, issues, debates, responsibilities, methods, etc. ...

yet i still feel obliged to complete a task; i’m told, would benefit my work and career - after more than thirty years of painting and drawing nearly every day - chasing down solutions, experimenting, and manifesting images - marketing, working the systems, inventing some, and keeping the studio afloat - i’m asked to define ‘it’ ...
what ‘it’ is i do ...
there’s a simple answer, a complex answer, and countless paralyzing choices in-between ...

two ..,

no. 8, ink on paper. © 2007 .

twee - duo - zwei - opposites - wisdom - method - yin - life force - self consciousness - witness - binary -

over the years, i’ve seen and heard some great jazz improv people - even played with a few ...
some of the really ‘out’ players like cecil taylor, anthony braxton, keith jarrett [at times]; sound like a cy twombly painting put to music - definitely on the same wave - this genre of work resonates to my soul ...
why ? because there’s something so natural, delightful, and familiar about ‘it’ - the language, form, or vibration, or whatever the hell / heaven / earth it is ... it works for me and speaks to - for - of the time we’re living - it’s meditative, evocative, and helps make sense of the world ... there’s a good chance that had it existed before ‘now’ it wouldn’t have been recognized as music ...
what do these guys have in common ? they’re well trained, masters of some aspect of their craft, innovative, fearlessly experimental, disciplined, engaged in life, passionate, and they’d probably do it regardless of their stature ...
but they don’t speak much about what their music ‘is’ - what ‘it’ is - they speak more in terms of principles and influences - issues they’re considering - things they’ve been moved by - dance seen or poetry read ...
making the music - ‘tapping in' - is most important ...
so how do i begin to explain what ‘it’ is in my own work ...
i’m told its a necessary marketing and distribution tool ...
what is 'it' ...

three ..,

no. 7, ink on paper. © 2007 .

drie - drei - tres - treis - triangle - trinity - sanctity - yang - emerald tablets - alchemy - treasures - limitless light -

"Thoughts rise from the mind’s haunt, whose source we can only imagine."
Joel Weishaus

four ..,

no. 6, ink on paper. © 2007 .

vier - quattuor - tessares - relativity - justice - order - seasons - wind - elements - memory - beneficence -

though it’s probably unavoidable, i really dislike defining things by what ‘they are not’ - the problem is - what ‘they are’ doesn’t seem as interesting without the reference to something that already exists ...
such is the case with contemporary art - to say that ‘it’ is not only about abstract expressionism, lyrical/gestural abstraction, or automatism presumes that the work is about those things and more - which, for me, is a bit conceited and unfair because it prejudices the opinion of what the work really is, and possibly elevates the work to an undeserving status ...
so the term - ‘what informs the work’ was adopted so one can identify their aspects of influence with a certain degree of reverence and ambiguity ... there’s a decorum to posing the question and clues for dialogue in the answer - this feels like gamesmanship - but again, i don’t see it as definitively explaining an artists work ... in the end it's the gallery dealers, art critics, and consumers that construct a fitting rationale ...
for an artist that is serious about their ‘job’; one who doesn’t play to the audience or preoccupy themselves with folly or fetish, and one that is aware of history and the world - description is elusive ... naturally, there are material and technical issues that need to be overcome in the process of making anything - and if that doesn’t become a means to an end - what ‘it’ is, has more to do with response to stimulus and perhaps something as vague as tapping the 'collective' and trusting a finely honed ability to paint from the heart or intuitive knowing - ‘it’ acquires meaning upon entering the world - a posteriori ... [so intent and meaning need to be evaluated in addition to influence] ...
like any other research however, a language for testing is required for measuring progress and results - so we're back to collecting data, asking the right questions, and appropriating meaning - especially in the area of abstraction - a necessary 'bridge' or 'tool' for deciphering and interpretation ...
doing the 'art' is almost much easier - no wonder ...

five ..,

no. 5, ink on paper. © 2007 .

vijf - quinque - pente - religion - versatility - senses - strength - severity - radical intelligence - fear -

points taken ...
pivot point - launching - jumping - diving - considering - analyzing - trying to define something that occurs so naturally - i always wanted to - maybe that's all i ever did - to draw a thought ...

six ..,

no. 4, ink on paper. © 2007 .

zes -sechs -hex - harmony - balance - meditation - intelligence - creation - beauty -

know thy market ...
the principle commandment for distribution of product ...
who is the potential consumer -
where do they consume -
what -
when -
why ...
from whom -
why -
what is it that the distributor wants and needs ...
what do i need to prepare or present to satisfy the distributor and the consumer ...

what is the most effective tool[s] to reach the distributor and consumer ...
what initial impact needs to be made and how is the best way to achieve it ...

knowing and doing are different ...

seven ..,

no.'s 1, 2, 3 . ink on paper. © 2007

septem - hepta - nature - peace - harmony - water - arts - philosophy - loners - sins - virtues - planets -

the biggest obstacle always seems to be getting out of my own way - to be unburdened by self doubt, rationalization, and the presumption of ‘ideals’ - there are probably more reasons to avoid making art than there are to do so - hence; the paralysis of inactivity ...

artists [inclusive] are particularly vulnerable because what they are making is not obviously required by society - their role appears self indulgent, illogical, even impetuous - and their products, unnecessary - unless they fit into a pre-existing venue ... so what becomes the source of motivation except the conscience of your ‘craft’ ...

so here comes a major stumbling block - and one that a majority of the population doesn’t have to deal with ...
by definition, and by historical precedent; the artist is obliged to make products - products that are innovative and meaningful; original - then, distribute a product to a marketplace that doesn’t know what it wants or needs ... furthermore, if an artist isn’t original or inventively accomplished in their medium and vision, they are criticized for their lack thereof ...

my problem has never been ‘paralysis of inactivity’ or ‘originality’ - my curiosity to see or hear a ‘thought turned thing’ trumps avoidance and my boredom with repetition keeps me creative ... my nature is to make things, to experiment, and to facilitate transformation from the imaginary to the physical ... i’m a studio animal, and have spent most of my life in the alchemists’ chambers ... the real issue is what to do with what i’ve made - how to present and deliver it to the marketplace and consumer ... to find an appropriate venue for my work ...

eight ..,

"lebensraum", 14' h x 9' w. © 2007
[ literally : 'place to live' ]

octo - cardinal - [wholeness, change, leadership, power] - happiness - lake - false witness - stealing -

perhaps the fact that i have fewer days left on earth than i’ve already spent is finally sinking in - a reality i was always aware of [especially since turning 50], but something i escaped from - to the extent that, for a few years, i couldn’t remember [with certainty] my age ...

now - with renewed clarity, new opportunities, and deliberate resolve - i feel an urgency to pursue goals with new confidence after some hard-learned lessons ...

for whatever time there is left, i want to earnestly live every day as though it were my last ... to make dreams realities, to always attempt to take the next ‘right’ step, and believe that what we do makes a difference ...

though it may be true, i’m tired of being told that my carbon footprint is too large, that my lack of support for our governments’ efforts is unpatriotic, that we live in the greatest country in the world, that you can’t ‘emerge’ unless you move through conventional channels, and that its either black or white! i’ve seen enough difference to qualify my objections ... and i’m prepared to confront issues and resistance with intelligence, compassion, and commitment ...

INTERIM ...

cycling through ages ...

happy thanksgiving to all -
with much to be grateful for;
life, earth, health, family, friends,
daily blessings, love, 'things',
learned lessons, and reprieve
from the consequence
of wrong decisions ...

in fact .

'fulcrum', 16' h x 7' w. © 2007

the momentum -
of whatever force,
or energy -
incessently
prevails ...

overshadowing
everything,
like the rubble
of mountains
under glacial blooms ...

some sort of truth ...

tiepolo + masson + gorky + polke + hunt + marden + ...

details change
but essence
remains ...

over time
fundamentally
the same ...

tragic flaws
nobel causes
shadowed motives ...

with abandon ...

... + pollock + twombly + tapies + schnabel + kiefer + ...

toward abstraction -
how else can we decipher:
‘something ain’t right’
or ‘something is ...’
when these labyrinths of complexity,
causes and effects
have morphed simplicity
to the limits
of elastic instability -

maybe its only a matter of adaptability,
like i’ve been saying for years ...

the mind has got to learn to process and understand data in this ‘age of information’ differently - simultaneously - similar to a multi level chess game - in the same way our mind and eyes learned to see depth in two dimensional formats - we must learn to process data in a multidimensional syntax with all its implication and meaning - not only because of the immediacy of global intake, but also because of the multiplicity of paradigms, language, and context - not to mention meaning, intention, and motive - pollock didn’t happen into history by accident - consciousness required a vehicle to understand some of the implications of that time in history - and it was allowed to happen because of a tradition of acceptance in the development of the arts up until that time - but what happened to that newly imported tradition of intelligentsia when it landed on the shores of america where it needed money and freedom to flourish after the devastation of europe during the second world war - it quickly became relegated to a form of entertainment and commerce rather than a language of the soul [as the french would say], and soon after that in this puritanical pseudo monarchy it required control: ie, mcCarthy, nixon, reagan, and bush ... lawyers - cum - ceo's and politicians became the harbingers of taste and the gatekeepers to the ‘top’ one percent ...
no wonder the last real ‘movements’ demise coincided with nixon’s resignation and pardon - the stage was set - after that its merely a matter of placating the masses - paralyzing them with details, fear, spin, and skullduggery .. and for those who ‘emerge’ - they’re either bought off or blistered by oz - or as nichelson said in ‘chinatown’; “i’m the leper with the most fingers” ...

any premeditated idea of ‘essence’
is almost nostalgic
with today's’ convolutions -
everything is always
not what it appears to be. ...

the right hand doesn’t know [or see]
what the left hand is doing,
or know its desire, motivation,
will or intent ...

a tree is no longer a tree without being fodder for consumption, material for heating, or lumber for building, or an activists’ contention, or a developer’s nightmare in the line of progress, or the same’s material for expansion, or profit for indulgence, dollars for lobbys, or political gain, controlling other countries, raping rain forests, global warming, the last vestige of medicine’s hope, childhood memories, or depictions of romantic idealism, [ad infinitum] ...

a tree, most importantly, is an expendable commodity - regardless of why it evolved or what it was meant to do or be, or hold together, simply -
a means to an end ...
something grown to be ‘used’ -
and that casual - jaded cognition
has permeated every aspect of our lives to the extent that [depending upon where you sit in the class structure]
everything and everybody is commodity or waste ...

that’s not progress,
that’s ravenous, gluttonous cannibalism -
where scavengers like me -
and generations that might follow,
are left to pick at the bones -
with wild abandon ...

so much to be seen in a painting ...

to feel ...

'time to demise', 1988. pastel on paper.

as anticipated,
i woke to a quiet, gray sunday morning
and snow flurries ...
you don’t have to be a genius,
or a meteorologist,
or possess mystical powers ...
you can feel it in your bones -
in the weight on your body,
in the frenzy of your psyche -
you can see it
in the more deliberate behavior
of squirrels, birds, deer,
and neighbors -
even smell it in the air -
‘it feels like snow’,
i’ve heard old-timers say -
even yesterday -
‘something ain’t right ‘,
and that’s not a quote
from a dylan song -
just ordinary people
bewildered and confused,
taken advantage of
and used ...
their trust squandered,
and hope diffused .
we can ‘feel’ it ...

i’ve been told
feelings aren’t facts -
of course not -
one is based upon intuition
and cognitive evolution,
the other upon details
of empirical evidence -
all of which is arguable,
if you’re so inclined ...
[to whom is it profitable]

but if it ‘feels’ like snow,
it probably will -
if not,
the season or location
is probably ready ...

i saw michael moore’s ‘sicko’ last night -
with trepidation;
because he annoys me -
ever since ‘fahrenheit 911’
and media interviews -
because he abuses his vehicle
to be consequential
and poignant - believable ...

the issues and glazed-over points
are important -
the delivery and self aggrandizement
is boring - appealing to the
lowest common denominator -
i’m always ready for
the adult version sequel -
not haute-cuisine
on kiddy plates ...

but a rose is still a rose -
and despite his trademark buffoonery,
he drove home uncomfortably
salient points -
more despicable, embarrassing
and distasteful than i could have imagined ...
[but hey, i’ve got a social conscience]

even after my own experiences
with high-priced health care
and legal trickery/treachery -
i still believed the daily propaganda;
the genetic hardwiring from
fearful and oppressed immigrants,
and a family of veterans
of 1st generation indoor plumbing,
opiate tv, advertising,
religion, and political lies -
and now more than ever,
i do believe
‘the american dream’
is nothing more than a dream,
a delusion ...

a corrupted system
of conscienceless parasites,
transcribing reason and law -
for fulfillment
of greed and control;
under an auspicious cloak
of progress and mutated democracy -
this is what i woke up to ...

‘something ain’t right’ ...

to hear ...

the sounds that brought me here ...

the early winter outdoor silence,
absent of inconsiderations -
[before rudeness and suburbia invaded] -
the kind of unimposing sound
that generations before me heard
standing on this same ground ...
the occasional breeze stirred leaves or branches -
a cracking or thump from something walking, falling,
or dropping ...
a bird call or few from winter stragglers
maybe geese, but not often ...
though there is no wind,
every head shift cups a different sound;
could be the easterlies,
or just the earth turning ...

then, the amazing whisper
of snow flakes touching the ground -
in dendrites of childhood;
peaceful, safe, and quiet -
gentle chimes
of prayer bells,
found on the floor
of catalina straits -
breaks this trance,
with penetrating cold
and fond memories ...

to see light ...

paint, trees, textures,
prometheus,
ruebens,
bound and unbound ...

Before it's too late ...

inside - out,
canvas - trees,
abundently yellow,
the last leaves ...

i need
to post ...
to fulfill a promise,
to forgive, be tolerant,
to change,
to never forget ...

arbitrary or mandatory necessities ?

through fog .

protecting vitals ...
life, hope, dreams;
will and belief ...

sanctity of spirit ...
threadbare sleeves,
prone to elements;
abuse and dis ease,
fearful and fragile,
cunning and agile ...

deliberate momentum ...
silted with time,
flowing onward -
sanity, clarity,
reason nor rhyme ...

beyond presence ...
sight;
agitating,
anticipating -
too smart to fight,
too tired for flight ...

diving ...

what else do i know but painting ...
my earliest memories ...
finding joy, comfort, discovery, peace, sorrow, excitement, and my ‘self’ through painting, drawing, and making things ...
to what end ?
to serve - to be of service - to contribute - to provide something to society, to fulfill a need ...

i always knew that the job wasn’t going to be easy,
and not one that was going to be easy to learn -
the best examples are usually dead tragic heroes ...
or the living wanting,
or the living consumed by their own ego,
or the living insulated, isolated, and aloof ...
the few i knew or know -
just keep working, honing, modifying, and hoping ...
the joy of discovery and accomplishment often offset
by disappointments of translation;
not having been ‘got’,
missing ‘it’ -
coupled with the danger of peer-bound affections ...

the world needs shelter, medicine, fuel, electricity, and food - even stories and music ...
but what once fed the soul seems to be in short demand ...
and maybe it was always that way ...
the peasants didn’t need their church ceilings painted -
but it added to reverence and illustrated a point,
cavemen ‘marked’ their territory and planned their hunt,
the ancients’ homage to deities and glorification of man [or whatever ‘ideals’ suited the plan],
the moderns to illustrate the ineffable or the scope and speed of information [maybe futility and greed - or not] ...

and maybe today, in this short history of art making, its’ about the singularity of purpose under whatever - nothing and everything - the full spectrum of speculation - survival, sustaining, what ...
that ‘unbearable lightness of being’
that thin skin of separation between life as we know it
and what we’ve come to believe ...

maybe art has always been a power tool;
to control, to illustrate, to emulate,
to impress, address, bemuse, or amuse the masses ...
maybe how ‘it’ is used is less important
than finding a use for ‘it’ ...
finding function among stuff;
grease for gears,
fuel for fires -
conscience or meaning ...

i paint or draw everyday -
it defines me ...
it’s never without challenges,
difficulties, technical issues, etc.,
but always unwavering in satisfaction -
such a gift;
one that i could only liken to woodworking, pottery,
and music - a zen experience [chan, quietude] -
perhaps more ...

lately i find myself
between things,
wanting and waiving -
questioning and knowing -
gratitude and despair ...
self indulgence,
to self denial,
still painting ...

circling prey ...

lakes + layers + louvre + ladders .

dreaming last night,
of art ...
i’ve had the good fortune of being in the presence of some of the most beautiful, profound, and evocative art ever made ...
actually able to touch some [most] of the works ...
[maybe a sacrilege, but my pisces duality is tactile and cerebral]
and to meet some of the artists - share thoughts,
be in their studios - the inner sanctum,
galleries, churches, castles, ruins, and museums ...
pottery from babylon,pueblo bonita,machu picchu, pyramids - statues from ramses temple, winged victory, pieta, parthenon - caves of lascaux, chartres cathedral, notre dame, sagrada familia, sevilla, roof of the world trade center, getty museum, frescoes and canvases - giotto, da vinci, ruebens, tiepolo, raphael, dali, picasso, miro, pollock, twombly, kiefer, van eyck, ...

i’ve also met some of the cruelest and mean-spirited people cloaked in benevolence for the arts ...

vague formulas ...

changing water,
walking ...

which book is right?
power ...
perhaps a willingness
to shoulder
responsibility,
oral and written -
body and soul
judged as one,
timid and ferocious
material acts ...
forgiveness
is an extending medium
adding pliability ...
sanity, covenants, paint ...

it all adds up = 11

forming ...

changing water ...

resurrected [circa 1975]
odd that 3 is missing ...

surface ...
that thin skin
of separation,
containing difference;
function, purpose,
composition -
the last retention ...
between
being and change;
dispersion
absorption
evaporation.

particulates diffused;
blended, filtered,
reused ...

permutating ...

Pyrenees Passage, 2007

3-2-1-:/2-2-2-1/3-3-4

deep, stark, bold,
gesture and metaphor ...
singular.

complex,veiled, subtle,
lyrical and informed ...
multiple.

intent - invent,
seek - discover,
losing - saving,
giving ...

twenty three ...
sounds of creation,
ag nim ...
a breath away ...

life is revolution
night and day
work and play
dreams, responsibility ...

over the past seven -
time seems a theme ...
forks and pastures
changing; adapting, resisting ...
ruins and remnants
glut, sludge,rising, and purging ...
“waiting for a miracle”
ready for anything
but more of the same ...
waiting, changing, and ready ...

Percolating ...

nature's way, 1974 + startled insects, 2006.

materials and methods changed
desire remains
deviations notwithstanding
painting evolves ...

just in time .

twenty minutes, twenty years ...

looking south this morning,
long shadows cast,
gray skies abide,
rauschenberg's 'glut' [1987] -
bigfoot’s domain ...
carbon prints and oil prices,
entropy and sludge,
lenin's anniversary [1917] -
(god bless my grandmother)
on a slow boat to hope,
chinese calender's
year of the pig,
twenty minutes of meditation,
the world changes ...

time for some oil paint and coffee ...