the month began with the residuals of Super Bowl - one of popular culture's barometers of sensibility; glitz, the thrill of mass hysteria, beer, junk food, scary movie adverts, quaint cuteness, gladiator brutality, aged rock stars, extravagance, blind patriotism, sophomoric humor, etc ...
is there any wonder why the popularity of the arts suffer ...
plus my personal disappointment with Brett Farve's heroic and painful loss ...
Janice [my wife], leaving home to be with her younger sister in Liverpool who was undergoing a radical cancer surgery - which turned out as good as we could hope for at the moment, but still wrought with concerns where all you could do is pray ...
[the 'c' word is one that scares me, and i avoid mentioning it when i can because the thought of it weakens me - i've seen it ravenously consume too many family and friends - and though treatments exist, it still remains the number one terrorist threat in the world - its power to insidiously destroy is only paralleled by cataclysmic events we can't control - but we can control funding and research as easily as wars] ...
the last time Janice was in Liverpool, she performed as the lead singer in a punk band called Night Visitors, and Collin the keyboardist, who lives in nearby Manchester was able to reunion after twenty six years while her flight home was delayed five days because of a blizzard in the USA ...
the powerlessness over discretionary policies enforced by the airline industry - seats left empty because they're classified 'revenue seats' in first class, despite medical emergencies that occur as a result of a passenger not receiving medications due to canceled flights ...
snow - and lots of it - and the paralyzing effect it has on the speed of business as we grow ever more dependent on systems that either seem antiquated, mismanaged, or recklessly attached to expectations of excellence - i think we live under a lot of false presumptions; that because we pay for a service, we'll receive it ... and when we don't, we're left unprepared: electricity, heat, telephone service, water, transportation, etc ... not to mention the hope that people would shed some self centered-ness during periods of shared duress - some of the same people that would text their support for Haiti won't let you temporarily borrow their unoccupied parking space in a blizzard - i guess you give what you can ...
then, another 'big one' - having to face the loss of my studio and the dreams attached to it because of economic conditions - and, for as close to my heart it is - i don't take it too personally; because there are countless doing much worse than me - whereas, i'm trying to preserve the luxury of supporting a few thousand square feet of studio space and the operational costs to sustain it, while there are many without decent health, food, or shelter ...
fact is, that over the past ten years, anticipated studio costs and expenses have quadrupled while productivity and income has only doubled - which under normal circumstances would leave me at a respectable advantage - but in a climate of aesthetic malaise and unregulated surcharges, utilities, and taxes - leaves me as [what Jack Nicholson said in Chinatown] - "the leper with the most fingers" ...
so unless i'm able to leverage my assets toward establishing a cooperative foundation, Harryn Studios may be facing corporate down-sizing ... but change is good - and if i can maintain the perspective of what would matter in a hundred years; it might only be the story of change i facilitated and the artwork that remains ... that's what really needs preserving ....
then there's this pesky little thing called Lymes disease that has me in a constant state of fatigue and headaches - funny; once i get wrapped up in my work, i hardly notice the symptoms which creates a false sense of security if i have a productive day - which leads me to think i'm okay and could avoid seeking treatment until it leaves me feeling and looking worse than before - and the good thing about being alone for the first few weeks of the month is that no one noticed - that changed, and i visited an infectious disease specialist who seemed much more literate than anyone else up to this point - i placed cautious confidence in him and trying to heed his direction, so we'll see ...
so jupiter has risen, there's a full moon in virgo, i turned 58 this week, Mother Earth is showing signs of aging, and today is today ...
